Purposeful Living – Part 1 (e-book series)

PART I: Where to Start

This is where it all begins, the place that you can start your new life and put all you read into action.

I appreciate more than most that this is often easier said than done, falling back to old habits is often left swimming around in one’s subconscious. Hence, of course, why they are called habits in the first place. First steps:

Journaling

Journaling is a great start. Why? It enables you to work on the past, present and future, in your own way, in your own words. You can start now and mark your progress each day. Start by writing down your thoughts, your problems, your obstacles. The key is to not overthink, go with the flow, just let the mind wander without judgement. If you struggle to begin, write a simple word, and see what thoughts are conjured up from there, for example ‘work’, ‘love’ or ‘today’.

This process can be cathartic and help you better your understanding of self. Writing thoughts and feelings down is renowned for helping solve issues that you just couldn’t do so in the silence of your own head. With the increased use of technology and social media we seem to have moved away from traditional journaling, but I encourage you to embrace the beauty of having something that is for your eyes only. Use a simple notebook or invest in a journal or notebook and start writing today.

Positive Attitude

The first step to positivity is considering your own perspective, right? As much as a lot of advice and information will encourage you to focus solely on your present dealing with your past will enable you to put your present and future into a clearer, ideally, more positive perspective. Your attitude to people, situations and circumstance is essential in achieving anything in your life. Let’s say for example you wake up one morning and feel like crap and you are finding it hard to motivate yourself or carry out simple tasks like meditating or making a morning cuppa. Often, this is the best time to write in your journal. Why, I hear you ask. God, forbid we write in a journal at the start of the day, not the end of the day. Sometimes creating your own world and not being held down by the rules we have become accustomed to is a very simple, but effective method in helping you to take control. I digress, the main purpose of journaling in the morning is due to it being a great way to clear your thoughts and create a fresh understanding on why your attitude is currently not positive. You must take control and do the best you can to flip that negativity into positivity. Once you have released your feelings and thoughts, have a go at writing down some simple goals for the day ahead, this will help to remind yourself why you have woken up and enable a more positive attitude.

Keep Up The Good Work

Just remember, on this little journey called Life, any self-development is good, positive and allows you to reap more benefits. No matter how little the changes may feel at the time, all self-development helps in the long run. In times of strife remember ‘this too shall pass’, in times of goal setting remember ‘it is a marathon, not a race’. And always do your best to not compare yourself to others, competing with Jones’, becoming judgemental or jealous of others is a huge hindrance to all humans.

Enjoy your journey of self-development, staying present and reaping the rewards when you eventually reach those goals. Believe it or not, most entrepreneurs express their enjoyment of their journeys just as much as the exhilaration of the result.

Do This for Yourself and No One Else

It is so vitally important that you do the things you want to do, in an ideal world, when you want to do them. Your life goal should be doing you and what makes you feel fulfilled and happy, so set goals and dreams and enjoy the journey of life on each day that you are granted.

Avoid the people who drain you and judge your plans and goals, they will only serve to hinder your self-development. Nine times out of ten these individuals are jealous of your self-discipline and integrity and do not have your happiness down as a priority.

You only get one life. Live it! Live uninhibited by setting yourself free, do not wait for others to give permission.

“The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.”

– Tony Robbins

Chapter One: Learning New Things

This chapter is an opportunity for me to explain my understanding of the importance of learning new things in life; things that can alter your attitude towards living.

When we focus on our self-development and learn new things it is often exhilarating once you get past the initial fear. Whether the form of learning takes shape through reading books, engaging in education, or engrossing ourselves in television. Personally, reading lots of books that are nonfiction and focused on self-help has helped my journey and understanding tenfold. The escapism that reading can bring genuinely allows your brain to work-out away from the harm of technology, social media, and other distractions. Books can seem costly, but investing in e-reading is a good way to combat the cost and the anxiety of getting lost in a book shop.

Believe In Yourself

First and foremost, you do need to at least be open minded to learning new things. If you are in an anti-frame of mind, the likelihood of the learning sticking is unlikely. Wean yourself in gently, set small goals, do not put adverse pressure on yourself. If you believe in it, you will achieve it and genuinely enjoy learning new things. Please, do not do it just because I or someone else recommended it; do it for yourself.

An example that I always remind myself of when thinking something is unachievable, like whenever I start a huge book, I feel defeated before I even get started, but then I remind myself of the joy and feeling of achievement that will come once I finish it. This is how you build up willpower to keep finishing books and learning interesting new things. Remind yourself of the end goal to get back to enjoying the present moment. Whether that new thing is going to help with your career, personal development or give you the ability to pass knowledge on to others, the possibilities are endless. You’ve already started though, right? Hence why you are here, at this page right now. Well done and keep going!

What Should I Learn?

This is always an interesting question; what should you learn? The million-dollar question, right? We could just go with the flow or take time to plan out a learning journey, or perhaps you shouldn’t worry about the end goal straight away and just read, listen, or watch whatever you want, get a feel for it, discover new areas of interest. The possibilities are endless, and the key is to spend less time procrastinating about it and more time just doing it.

Sometimes we become so fixated on what we want to do in the future, or the goal we are aiming towards that we forget to simply enjoy the current moment, embracing something random and even fun. I talk about learning from the perspective of self-discovery (in case you haven’t already noticed) and so my encouragement is for you to utilize your time doing and learning new things that perhaps you would otherwise find ‘useless’ or ‘boring’. Eventually, you will know what path is right for you and be able to take all those practiced skills and home in on what you enjoy. It won’t be long before you are doing, learning, and achieving naturally; just be patient.

Learning is for Life

You can only plan life to a certain degree, what you can do is make promises. Promises to yourself that you will take on the notion of learning throughout your life. Nelson Mandela once said, ‘Education is Power’, whilst this is true, education does not need to come with bits of paper and a grading system, it can come from within and from around you. Enabling yourself to be open to learning throughout life is a powerful tool to give yourself and gives you the opportunity to completely broaden your horizons. And, along the way, if you become more intelligent, as well as enlightened, well that is a bonus, right? So why would you stop at some point? Beats me.

I previously mentioned that all self-development is a marathon, not a sprint and this is so true when it comes to learning. So, on your journey of self-development go and explore, go traveling, visit places and embrace new cultures, new languages and different types of people, religions and generally enjoy each day as it comes whilst also learning by taking an opportunity to reflect on each day before bed. Utilise that notebook or journal to express how your day went, whether it was a good day or a bad day.

In good time you will fully understand what is meant by learning and how it really can change your life. But as I said before, it takes time, so for now simply enjoy the process of beginning.

Take days off.

Now, this is extra important and something myself and a lot of those around me are still trying to harness. But, put simply – take a day off! A day off work, a day off from the kids, the partner, the friends, the noise…. Even from learning new things.

Life can often be overwhelming and sometimes all you need to do is just rest. Literally, rest! Do nothing for a day or two, and I don’t mean a day or two each week, month, or year but just when you feel like it is necessary. You must become comfortable with being kind to yourself and remembering that if you are not functioning at 100% it tends to mean the body or mind (or both) needs a break. Listen to yourself, listen to your body and trust that inner voice. I think a lot of people get there eventually, but currently it is oh too easy to ignore the voice and just keep going. Take a moment to ask yourself ‘what do I really want right now?’ or perhaps ‘what do I really need?’, just take a moment to listen to your mind, body, and soul.

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”

– Mahatma Gandhi

Chapter Two: Enjoy Time in Nature

Depending on your job, getting time out in nature can be difficult. If your job requires you to be in an office or building of any kind, it can make seeing the wonders of our world very difficult.

But don’t let that stop you. There is always time to get out and enjoy the qualities of mother nature, for example, our commute to work, our lunch breaks and even the commute back home.

There are so many benefits to being out in nature, and some of those are as follows:

Peacefulness
Calmness
Happiness
Exercise (fitness)
Heart health
Mindfulness (being present)
Feeling of reality
Problem-solving (gathering thoughts)

These are just some of the benefits of being out and about in mother nature, and the best part of it all is that it costs nothing! Well, unless you are going to Centerparcs or a nature reserve that requires a ticket of course.

So, it’s time to get some ideas on how we can do this whether we work indoors or outdoors, there is always room for more peacefulness in nature.

Commuting

Ok, so I understand the concept of time and the lack of it, but there is always a solution to this problem. If you wake up an hour before work, scoff your breakfast down and then have to rush to work in a car or any form of public transport you will probably think it’s too much hard work, well it’s not! It could be as simple as getting up 20/30 minutes earlier than normal so you don’t have to rush around and can walk to work, through a park or some form of nature (tress, etc.) and be at work in a fitter, calmer state than you were before.

There could be the possibility that you work miles away which again I appreciate, but couldn’t you park closer to work and walk somewhere? Or park up at work early and go for a walk before you start? There is always a way to do it, and when you get in the habit of it, it is so enjoyable. Just waking up that little bit earlier can change your life for the better, for free.

The same goes for leaving work, especially if it has been a stressful day. This could be your chance to unwind and just enjoy the peace outside or mental peace to clear your mind.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a practice where you focus on the present moment, not worrying about yesterday or tomorrow, but being present in this very moment. For example, reading this book right now is in the present moment. Are you focusing on reading at this moment? And not being distracted with outside noises or annoying thoughts? That is mindfulness.

So, there are many types of mindfulness you can try, from eating mindfully, walking mindfully, breathing mindfully (Meditation) and visualizing something mindfully. You can even brush your teeth mindfully.

Now the big question is, why should we do it? We should do mindful practices to enhance our wellbeing and focus on the reality of this moment, as any other moment from the past or the future is just an illusion in your mind and technically out of your hands. You can think about the past but can’t change it and you can predict or plan, but it’s not guaranteed, not in the slightest.

Here are some benefits to doing mindfulness practices:

Calmness
Enhanced concentration
Enhanced focus
Stress relief
Anxiety relief
Fully aware of the present
Happiness
A sense of wellbeing

Now that you can see that this practice is very important in our lives, we should now do it, from this very moment (see what I did there.)

In the next chapter, I will tell you how to do different mindfulness techniques and what those practices could do for you.

“Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.”

– Albert Einstein

Chapter Three: Mindfulness Practices

Here, we will discuss how to do the mindfulness practices to help you be clear-minded, calmer, happier and one with reality.

Beginner’s Mind

Do you realize that you create a filter for everything that you look at?

We look at an object for example and forget what they mean and what they can do. For example, how often do you look at a tree and pay attention to it, the way it looks, what it is there for in the first place?

Try this exercise out, find something like an object or an animal or some scenery and look at it with a beginner’s mind, like you have never seen it before. This can be an extremely calming exercise and can be connected to mindful thinking and reduce stress and anxiety.

Body Scan

This simple yet effective meditation method can take as little as between 5 and 10 minutes to do.

I prefer laying down comfortably, legs shoulder-width apart, hands out on both sides with palms up, eyes closed and now we can begin.

Take a few deep breaths and then focus on your breath at a normal rhythm. Now while you focus on your breath, we will check in with each part of your body starting with the toes. How do your toes feel right now? Relaxed? Tired? Painful? Really concentrate on that area for a few seconds.

When you are ready to move on, take a deep breath and as you breath out move up your body to your feet and then repeat the same on your ankles, calves, knees, hamstrings, quads, hips, lower back, stomach, upper back (shoulder blades), chest, shoulders, arms (biceps, triceps, forearms), hands, fingers, neck, throat, jaw, mouth, nose, eyes, ears and then your Head.

You can of course just do areas like feet, legs, arms, torso, head, etc. If you don’t have time to go into complete detail of the body parts, although the benefits are much better if you give time for each part of your body.

So that’s it and when you finish you can open your eyes and go about your day, or if done before bed just go to sleep (if you didn’t fall asleep during the meditation) as it can be super relaxing.

If your mind wanders off during the body scan, just bring your attention back to your breath and then back to your body. It’s ok if your mind wanders, it’s natural, but don’t get frustrated with yourself or judge yourself, just mindfully return to where you left off.

Checking in with your body parts is great for easing tension or even finding tension in certain areas of your body. This is a fantastic way to really listen and take note of what your body is telling you. You will feel even more connected to your body then you already do.

Meditation

For this meditation technique, we will just sit, either on a chair or on the floor cross-legged.

An important thing you must remember is posture. Keeping your back straight and shoulders relaxed is extremely important to keep you awake and alert, you can also push the crown of your head towards the ceiling to help keep your back straight.

Now you can put both hands on your thighs, palms facing up or down. It does not matter which way; the choice is purely down to whatever is comfortable for you.

Now close your eyes and focus on your breathing, after a few breaths try and focus on just the out-breath, while keeping your breathing natural and smooth, think of the in-breath as a time to have a little pause.

When a thought arises, and it likely will, and you realize you have run away with a thought just say to yourself “thinking” in a kind and compassionate way, then let it go, with no judgment, just a momentary observation.

All thoughts in this meditation practice should be seen with just observation, we should not action the thoughts, for example thinking about a project and then creating a list for that project in your mind is actively pursuing the thought, just observe it and let it go, then go back to focusing on the out breath. Don’t forget to say to yourself kindly, “thinking”, when these thoughts arise, and you follow them. Saying to yourself “thinking” helps reground yourself to continue focusing on the out breath.

When you leave a thought, and come back to your breathing, this is what meditation is. You are doing it right. Leaving your thoughts behind and giving your mind time to escape and relax.

Now go and spend five or ten minutes on this and try and keep it up. If you cannot commit daily, just start with every other day or even weekly.

You can benefit from this meditation technique as you will start to detach from your thoughts and have a clearer mind, as well as a clearer realisation of what goes on in that head of yours.

Mindfulness Anytime, Anywhere

You can embrace Mindfulness anytime and indeed anywhere. Below are a couple of ideas of ways to integrate mindfulness into your daily life.

Mindful Walking

With each step you take, focus your attention on your legs bending and your feet touching the ground, also think about how your breathing feels.

Keep your eyes open (for obvious reasons) and keep a soft gaze on your surroundings so you know where you are going but try not to think about the environment too much.

Your mind will likely wonder, don’t worry about it, and get frustrated, just accept that this has happened and then refocus on your breathing and movements.

Mindful Eating

Before taking your first mouthful of food, try and think about how your food was made and produced, think about how many people were involved in the preparation of the meal that is in front of you.

Now with your first mouthful try and take extra time to chew and notice the textures of the food, ingredients, smells, colours, and flavours of your food.

You can be mindful of most things you do in your day to day lives. You are basically using the action you are doing as your anchor. An example of this would be that if you are brushing your teeth, you should be thinking about brushing your teeth, not thinking about what’s for dinner tonight or why your job sucks.

Final Thoughts

So now we have learned some valuable practices, it is time to put these mindful practices in action. At first, it can feel intimidating, or you may feel like you’re doing it wrong, but don’t worry, as most people (including myself) felt this way also at the beginning.

The main thing here is to keep practicing without judgment and learn to enjoy yourself along the way. You may not get instant results, but this is for the long term, not the short.

“With mindfulness, you can establish yourself in the present in order to touch the wonders of life that are available in that moment.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh

Part 2 coming soon.

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